The terms bi-curious and bisexual are often confused, but they represent different aspects of sexual identity and exploration. While both are related to attraction to more than one gender, bi-curious refers to someone exploring or curious about same-gender attraction, whereas bisexual refers to a well-defined sexual identity. In this article, we will explore the meanings of both terms, their distinctions, and how individuals can navigate these identities.

What Does Bi-Curious Mean?

The term bi-curious refers to someone who is exploring or curious about sexual attraction to more than one gender but does not necessarily identify as bisexual. For example, if you identify as a heterosexual woman but occasionally find yourself fantasizing about or attracted to another woman, you might describe yourself as bi-curious, even if you don’t act on these feelings.

Dr. Marla Renee Stewart, a sexologist and sexuality educator, explains that bi-curious individuals may experience attraction to a different gender but are uncertain about committing to an identity based on that attraction. "Bi-curious generally means that a person wants to explore sexual activity with a person of a gender identity different than the gender they are usually attracted to," said Stewart.

Being bi-curious doesn’t mean you’ve fully defined your sexual orientation, and it’s often seen as part of a journey or exploration of attraction. You may be curious and open to the idea of being attracted to a person of a different gender but haven’t yet fully committed to identifying as bisexual or another label.

For some, being bi-curious might involve reflecting on past feelings or experiences they weren't able to explore due to societal restrictions, religion, or other factors. This could signal that they’re open-minded and ready to explore a new aspect of their identity.

What’s the Difference Between Bi-Curious and Bisexual?

The main difference between being bi-curious and bisexual lies in the commitment to a sexual identity. According to Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist and sex therapist, bi-curious allows individuals to explore their feelings without fully committing to a label, while bisexuality is an established sexual identity.

"Bi-curious really helps people identify a burgeoning curiosity without committing to any specific identity around their sexuality," Balestrieri said. Bi-curious people may experience attraction to multiple genders but haven’t yet settled on a sexual identity.

On the other hand, bisexuality refers to someone who is emotionally, physically, or romantically attracted to more than one gender. The term bisexual is widely accepted in the LGBTQ+ community and indicates a commitment to acknowledging attraction to multiple genders as part of one's sexual identity.

In short, bi-curious is more about exploration and questioning, while bisexual is an established, self-defined identity. Someone who is bi-curious might eventually identify as bisexual, but that is a personal decision that can take time.

When Should I Start Exploring Being Bi-Curious?

If you find yourself feeling attracted to more than one gender, it might be natural to feel unsure about what this means for your identity. Dr. Balestrieri acknowledges that it can be intimidating to realize you're bi-curious, as sexuality is often seen as something that should be fixed or understood immediately. Sexuality is fluid, and it’s important to give yourself the time and space to explore these feelings at your own pace.

You don’t need to rush into any conclusions about your sexuality. Self-reflection is key to understanding whether this attraction is something temporary or part of your ongoing identity. "You should only act if you’ve weighed the benefits and consequences and feel ready to step into this exploration," said Stewart.

If you’re bi-curious, there’s no rush to label yourself. It’s okay to explore and take things slow. There is no specific timeline for figuring out your sexuality. Starting small, perhaps through conversations with others or using dating apps to meet people you're curious about, can help you explore your feelings and interests gradually.

For those who are unsure of how to begin exploring their bi-curiosity, platforms like dating apps and social media communities allow you to connect with people and explore your feelings without pressure. Some people even feel comfortable identifying as bi-curious to others to give them the space to express their identity in a low-pressure environment.

Polysexuality vs. Bi-Curious and Bisexuality

Understanding bi-curious in comparison to other sexual identities can be confusing, but knowing the distinctions can help. Bisexuality and bi-curiosity fall under the same umbrella of multisexuality, where a person feels attraction to multiple genders, but the degree of commitment to the identity is what sets them apart.

Bi-curious individuals are still exploring their attractions, while bisexuals have a clearer understanding of their identity and are comfortable identifying as attracted to multiple genders. Polysexuality, similar to bisexuality, also refers to attraction to many genders, but with the added distinction that polysexuality often includes attraction to gender fluid or nonbinary people in addition to men and women.

In contrast to these identities, pansexuality goes a step further in that people who identify as pansexual are attracted to people regardless of gender, without gender ever playing a role in their attraction.

How to Support Bi-Curious Individuals

Supporting someone who is bi-curious is about creating a safe space for them to explore their identity. The most important way to help is by listening and being open-minded about their experiences. Avoid making assumptions about someone’s sexual identity, and let them define it for themselves as they grow and explore.

Tips for Supporting Bi-Curious Individuals:

  1. Be an ally: Advocate for bi-curious individuals and challenge stereotypes and myths about bisexuality and bisexual exploration. Stand up for their right to explore and define their sexuality.

  2. Educate yourself: Learn more about bisexuality and bi-curiosity to better understand the experiences of people who are exploring their sexual orientation.

  3. Respect their pace: Allow bi-curious people to take their time in defining their sexuality. Avoid pressuring them into labeling themselves before they’re ready.

  4. Engage in respectful conversations: Ask open, honest questions, but never force someone to explain their sexuality. Let them decide when and how to share their experiences.

A Quick Review

The difference between bi-curious and bisexual lies in the level of commitment to identifying with a sexual orientation. Bi-curious individuals are exploring their attraction to more than one gender, while bisexuals have a clear identity tied to that attraction. Understanding these distinctions can help you better understand your own sexuality or support someone else as they explore theirs.

Creating an open, non-judgmental environment for people to explore their sexual orientation is key. Whether you’re bi-curious or bisexual, the journey to self-discovery is personal, and it’s important to give yourself and others the time to explore.