Autosexuality, an often misunderstood aspect of human sexuality, refers to individuals who experience sexual attraction to themselves. While this may seem unusual to some, autosexuality is a valid sexual orientation and varies greatly from person to person. Autosexuality is more than simply being drawn to one’s own body—it involves a deeper emotional and physical attraction to oneself that can shape how individuals engage in relationships and experience sexual intimacy.

For many, recognizing and accepting autosexuality is the first step toward fostering self-acceptance and building healthier relationships. In this guide, we explore the concept of autosexuality, how it differs from narcissism, and how autosexual individuals navigate relationships. Additionally, we’ll discuss the misconceptions surrounding this sexual orientation and provide insights into how to support partners who identify as autosexual.

What Is Autosexuality?

Autosexuality is characterized by sexual attraction to oneself, where the individual experiences arousal from their own body rather than from others. It’s important to note that this sexual attraction is not about narcissism—autosexual individuals do not seek attention or validation from others in the same way that narcissists do. Instead, they find sexual fulfillment and pleasure through self-exploration and self-touch.

Unlike asexuality, where individuals do not experience sexual attraction, autosexuality involves a strong connection to one’s own body and can coexist with other sexual identities. People who are autosexual may have a variety of experiences, from being primarily sexually attracted to themselves, to occasionally feeling sexual attraction to others in addition to themselves.

The Spectrum of Autosexuality

Autosexuality exists on a spectrum, meaning that people who identify as autosexual may experience different levels of sexual attraction to themselves. For some, this attraction is all-encompassing, while others may experience occasional arousal from themselves in specific contexts. This fluidity makes autosexuality a unique and individualized identity.

An individual who is autosexual may enjoy masturbation while focusing on their own body or find that looking at themselves in the mirror arouses them. In contrast, others may have a more intense attraction to their own body and experience heightened feelings of arousal with little or no attraction to others.

Autosexuality vs. Narcissism

It’s essential to distinguish autosexuality from narcissism. While narcissists seek admiration and validation from others, autosexuals gain pleasure from their own sexual experiences and are not inherently focused on external approval. Autosexuals can enjoy intimate relationships with others while still finding pleasure in self-touch and self-love.

Autosexuality is not rooted in a need for admiration or ego gratification. In fact, many autosexual individuals feel deeply connected to their partners and enjoy sexual intimacy with them, even if their primary source of arousal comes from themselves.

Autosexuality and Autoromanticism

In some cases, autosexuality overlaps with autoromanticism—a term used to describe individuals who prefer romantic experiences with themselves rather than with others. A person who is both autosexual and autoromantic may not only experience sexual arousal from their own body but also romantic affection for themselves. However, it’s possible for someone to be autosexual without identifying as autoromantic, and vice versa.

Common Misconceptions About Autosexuality

There are several misconceptions about autosexuality that can lead to misunderstanding or judgment. One of the most common misconceptions is that autosexual individuals are selfish or self-absorbed in relationships. In reality, being autosexual does not mean that a person is not capable of deep emotional connections or meaningful sexual relationships with others.

Some myths include:

  • Autosexuals are narcissistic: Autosexuality does not equate to narcissism. Autosexuals do not seek validation or attention from others, but instead, they enjoy self-pleasure and self-exploration.

  • Autosexuals cannot be loving or generous partners: Just because someone enjoys self-love doesn’t mean they lack the capacity to be considerate and attentive to their partner’s needs. Autosexuals can still be passionate, affectionate, and caring lovers.

  • Autosexuality is a phase: This misconception can lead to feelings of shame for individuals who identify as autosexual. It is a legitimate sexual identity and not something that someone will simply "grow out of."

Cultural Acceptance of Autosexuality

Autosexuality is often not widely understood in many cultures, where partnered relationships and sexual attraction to others are normalized and celebrated. As a result, individuals who identify as autosexual may feel isolated or stigmatized.

There is also the pervasive cultural tendency to associate sexuality with interactions between partners. Many educational systems and societal norms focus on teaching that sexual attraction is meant to be directed at others, typically in a heterosexual or monogamous context. This societal framework often leaves autosexuality out of the conversation, which can contribute to feelings of shame and confusion for those who identify as autosexual.

Being in a Relationship with an Autosexual Person

If you are in a relationship with someone who identifies as autosexual, communication is key. Just like with any relationship, it’s important to express your needs, boundaries, and desires openly. A relationship with an autosexual partner may require negotiation and understanding.

Autosexual people may have unique ways of engaging sexually, such as focusing on their own body during intimacy or preferring to masturbate in front of a partner rather than engaging in mutual sexual activity. It’s essential to respect your partner’s needs and find ways to navigate sexual intimacy together that are fulfilling for both partners.

Sexual Activities with an Autosexual Partner

In relationships with autosexual individuals, sex may look different than traditional sexual experiences. Autosexuals may prefer to stimulate themselves while their partner watches or touches them. Partners of autosexual individuals should not feel rejected if their partner focuses on self-pleasure during intimacy. Instead, they should understand that this is an expression of the partner’s sexuality, not a dismissal of them as a lover.

Possible activities might include:

  • Masturbating together: You and your partner can both engage in self-pleasure, enjoying the intimacy without necessarily being physically involved with one another.

  • Watching your partner give themselves pleasure: This can be just as intimate and fulfilling for both partners as any other form of sexual connection.

  • Providing emotional and physical support: Offering support and reassurance during moments of self-exploration can strengthen your emotional connection.

What to Know About Being Autosexual

If you identify as autosexual, it’s important to understand that your sexuality is valid, and you are not alone in your experience. Autosexuality, like all sexual identities, is fluid and unique. Embrace your sexual identity without shame, and communicate openly with your partner about your desires and needs.

Being autosexual may require others to adjust their expectations and understand that your sexual experiences are valid. Don’t let misconceptions or societal pressures diminish your self-worth.

Conclusion

Autosexuality is a unique and valid sexual identity that may involve being primarily or exclusively attracted to oneself. While it is misunderstood by many, autosexuality is just another way to experience sexual and emotional fulfillment. If you are autosexual, embrace your identity, communicate openly with your partners, and educate others about this often-overlooked sexual orientation. Relationships require effort, understanding, and respect—qualities that are essential, whether you are autosexual or not.