It’s not always easy to predict how a child will respond to different foods. One day, a child may accept a meal happily; the next, they might refuse everything on the plate. For many parents and caregivers, dealing with a child who is a selective eater can be frustrating and confusing. Understanding the truth behind picky eating—and separating myths from facts—can help support children more effectively at mealtimes.

Common Myths About Picky Eating

  • “They’ll eat when they’re hungry.”
    This assumption can be misleading. Some children may have sensory or developmental challenges that make eating genuinely difficult.

  • “Three meals a day is enough.”
    Younger children often need multiple smaller meals or snacks due to their smaller stomachs and fast metabolism.

  • “Eating is easy.”
    For children with oral-motor, sensory, or behavioral issues, eating may feel like a challenging task—not a natural one.

  • “They’re just being stubborn.”
    Refusing food isn't always a behavioral choice. It can stem from discomfort, anxiety, or unfamiliarity with new textures and flavors.

Facts Parents Should Know

  • Mess is part of learning.
    Let children explore food with all their senses—sight, smell, touch, and taste. This builds familiarity and comfort over time.

  • Preferences are normal.
    Just like adults, children have individual likes and dislikes when it comes to textures, smells, and flavors.

  • Encouragement works better than pressure.
    Praising children for trying new foods—regardless of whether they enjoy them—can foster positive associations. On the other hand, frustration or criticism may increase resistance.

  • Rejection is a natural response.
    Especially with new foods, the first reaction is often refusal. This doesn’t mean a child will never accept it.

  • Repetition matters.
    Children under age 8 may need exposure to a new food up to 10 times before accepting it. For those over 8, it can take as many as 15 exposures.

When to Be Concerned

While picky eating is common, there are situations when a caregiver should consult a pediatrician or feeding specialist. Watch for the following signs:

  • Refusal to try new foods or food textures

  • Gurgling or wet voice during or after eating (possible sign of aspiration)

  • Inadequate weight gain or poor growth

  • Frequent coughing, gagging, or choking during meals

  • Meals lasting longer than 30–40 minutes regularly

  • Difficulty coordinating sucking, chewing, and swallowing

  • Food-related anxiety or fear

  • Intense behavior problems around mealtime

  • Low or unusual muscle tone around the face or mouth

How Feeding Therapy Can Help

When children experience ongoing difficulty with eating, feeding therapy may offer a structured and supportive solution. A trained therapist works closely with the child and family to address specific needs and improve feeding skills through the following approaches:

  • One-on-one support:
    A personalized plan is developed after a detailed assessment of the child’s oral-motor abilities, sensory sensitivities, and behavior. Therapy may begin with individual sessions and later transition to group settings for social mealtime practice.

  • Sensory-based food exposure:
    Children are gradually introduced to new foods—both preferred and non-preferred—based on their look, smell, and texture to reduce aversion and anxiety.

  • Postural adjustments:
    Proper seating and posture during meals can significantly affect attention, comfort, and physical coordination, making eating easier and more manageable.

  • Behavioral guidance for families:
    Caregivers learn strategies to encourage positive behavior at the table, reduce power struggles, and establish more consistent routines.

  • Referrals when needed:
    Some cases require additional support from psychologists, dentists, allergists, or other specialists. A team-based approach ensures that all underlying factors are addressed holistically.

How to Begin Feeding Therapy

To access feeding or swallowing evaluations, parents typically need a referral from a child’s primary care doctor or pediatric specialist. Based on the child’s needs, a feeding therapist will determine the best plan and timeline for support. The goal is to not only help children eat better, but to make mealtimes more positive, calm, and successful for the entire family.