As society increasingly views sexuality as a spectrum, more people are moving away from strictly identifying as either heterosexual or homosexual. Along with this shift, the language we use to describe sexuality has also evolved.
One such term is "heteroflexible," used to describe individuals who are primarily heterosexual but not exclusively so.
Here’s what experts say about what it means to be heteroflexible, how it differs from bisexuality, and how to support someone who identifies this way.
What Is Heteroflexible?
Heteroflexibility is a recognized sexual orientation. It typically describes someone who is mostly attracted to the opposite sex but occasionally feels attraction toward the same sex, according to Debra Laino, DHSc, a clinical sexologist and relationship therapist in Delaware.
People who are primarily drawn to the opposite gender but experience occasional same-gender attraction fall under the heteroflexible umbrella.
“Heteroflexible, like many labels, can mean different things to different people,” said Casey Tanner, a clinical sex therapist in Chicago. “Usually, it refers to someone who identifies as mainly straight but experiences some queerness under certain circumstances.”
Tanner adds that heteroflexibility can apply to individuals exploring or questioning their sexuality who may not yet be ready to adopt a broader queer label or another non-straight identity.
Is Heteroflexible Part of the LGBTQ+ Spectrum?
Yes, because it acknowledges sexual fluidity.
“It’s not quite the same as bisexuality since heteroflexible individuals remain predominantly straight,” Laino explained.
However, whether someone who is heteroflexible identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ community is entirely their decision. As Tanner noted, “The root of the orientation is still hetero” — a term meaning "other" or "different" and referring to attraction to the opposite sex.
Heteroflexible vs. Bisexual: What’s the Difference?
Although they might sound similar, heteroflexible and bisexual are different identities.
People who identify as heteroflexible are primarily straight but may occasionally have same-sex experiences or attractions.
Meanwhile, bisexual individuals are more equally open to attraction to multiple genders.
The American Psychological Association defines bisexuality as a romantic, emotional, or sexual attraction to more than one sex or gender.
Tanner notes that heteroflexibility can overlap with bisexuality or pansexuality in some cases. However, many heteroflexible people may not seek out same-sex relationships and may remain in relationships that appear heterosexual.
There's also a related term, "homoflexible," which describes someone who is mostly attracted to the same sex but has occasional attraction to the opposite sex.
How to Support Someone Who Identifies as Heteroflexible
The most important thing is not to judge or make assumptions. Allow people to define themselves and respect the language they choose to use.
Tanner points out that many individuals who identify as heteroflexible may fear stigma or feel hesitant to come out as queer. This fear can exist with any sexuality label, whether it’s queer, bisexual, pansexual, or otherwise.
As an ally, create a safe and accepting space where others feel comfortable sharing their identity.
"I would recommend being affirming, open-minded, and supportive, letting the person share what feels safe to them," said Tanner.
A Quick Summary
Heteroflexible describes someone who is mostly heterosexual but experiences some same-sex attraction. It’s one of many terms that illustrate the diverse and fluid nature of human sexuality.
When it comes to understanding others' sexual identities, it's best to be open, avoid assumptions, and let people define themselves on their own terms.
